You’re All I Think About Lately

Last Saturday night, ABS-CBN’s longest-running drama anthology Maalala Mo Kaya featured the story of a young man and how he experienced the joy and pain brought by love.

Everyone crosses the stage of puberty. I mean, everyone can relate with the protagonist’s story. Watching the episode actually brought me back to my younger years and reminded me how I lived the same chapter of my life — the stalking, the exchange of text messages, writing cheesy letters, saving your allowance to buy presents.

That feeling you get when your crush quickly replies to your letter or text message even it be just blank or a plain smiley. How romantic it is to write your feelings on a scented stationery, ripped notebook page, leftover Manila paper, or on an innocent dried leaf. But when it’s time to hand it over, you shrink in coy. Drips of thick sweat. Weak in the knees. Speeding heartbeats. You just don’t know what to do when she is near, in sight or even just in mind. And as you get to know more each other, you feel like your chest is exploding.

But not all love stories end happily, like what happened with the main character. Like him, I cried rivers when I got rejected. My crush asked me to stop all my craziness when I haven’t really expressed my feelings and intentions for her. You then slowly start to realize: love goes hand in hand with pain. Yes it can make hearts, but it can also break them.

Years passed, and again, I find myself in the arms of that bittersweet sensation. I seemed to have never learned my lesson. But hey, it feels good. Though now, I know, this will end anytime soon. I didn’t expect this will happen again, so I want to blame youfor being such a hot stuff!

To be honest, you were just another pretty face I used to come across at the office hallways before. Sands of time poured and twist of fate brought us closer — you were not that snub after all. In fact, you’re a person full of humor, wit and congeniality. As we talk, chat, and greet each other, I unexpectedly found this growing infatuation I can’t deny.

It feels like a melting Magnum Popsicle whenever you smile or look me in the eye. All our interactions were somewhat given absurd meaning like, maybe, we are on the same boat. That the feeling is mutual. Nevertheless, albeit everything momentous, I struggle to conceal every giddy emotion I have for you.

I don’t dream of us ending together. This is all an illusion. I grew older and wiser. It might be a similar thing but being more mature, being able to manage your emotions makes the difference.

On the brighter side, I love the feeling of being thrilled in romance and inspired in action which I only get to experience once in a while. With this, I desire to preserve it and keep to myself then wait. Yes, wait. Wait for it grow and burst out of me or wait it wither and dissipate into plain memories.

Well, I know for now I’m not in love. It’s just that, you’re all I think about lately.

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