You’re All I Think About Lately

Last Saturday, ABS-CBN’s Maalala Mo Kaya featured a story of a young man and how he experienced the joy and pain brought by love.

Well, everyone crosses the stage of puberty. I mean everyone can relate with the protagonist’s story which, while watching, made me nostalgic of my younger years. Reminded on how I lived the same chapter of my life, I confess that I also did those things — stalking, writing cheesy letters, giving gifts out of savings and text messaging.

I remember that fleeting floating feeling you get when your crush instantly replies to your letter or text message even it just be blank or a smiley. You find it romantic scribbling thoughts for him or her on a scented stationery, ripped notebook page, leftover Manila paper or even on an innocent dried leaf. But when you hand it over, you shrink in coy. Drips of thick sweat, weak in the knees and speeding heartbeats gush in when he or she is near, in sight or even just in mind. Then, swings of surrealism accelerate as you get to know more each other.

But not all love stories end happily, like what happened with the main character. And like him, I cried rivers when my crush rejected me, asked me to stop all my craziness although I haven’t actually expressed my feelings for her. You then start to realize: love goes hand in hand with pain. Yes it can make hearts, but it can also break them.

Years passed, and again, I find myself in the arms of that bittersweet sensation. I seemed to never have learned my lesson. But hey, it feels good. Though, now, I know, this will end anytime soon. I didn’t expect this will happen again, so I want to blame youfor being such a beautiful human being!

To be honest, you were just another pretty face I used to come across at the office hallways before. Sands of time poured and twist of fate brought us closer — you were not that snub after all. In fact, you’re a person full of humor, wit and congeniality. As we talk, chat, and greet each other, I unexpectedly found this growing infatuation I can’t deny.

I feel like a melting Magnum Popsicle whenever you smile or look me in the eyes. All our interactions were given absurd meaning like, maybe, we are on the same boat. That the feeling is mutual. Nevertheless, albeit everything momentous, I struggle to conceal every giddy emotion I have for you.

I don’t dream of us ending together. This is all an illusion. I grew older and wiser. It might be a similar thing but being more mature, being able to manage your emotions makes the difference.

On the brighter side, I love the feeling of being thrilled in romance and inspired in action which I only get to experience once in a while. With this, I desire to preserve it and keep to myself then wait. Yes, wait. Wait for it grow and burst out of me or wait it wither and dissipate into plain memories.

Well, I know for now I’m not in love. It’s just that, you’re all I think about lately.

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